America’s in bad shape, according to new Attorney General Jeff Sessions. In a speech given Wednesday to leaders of local, state, and federal law enforcement, the elf-like cabinet member said the American justice system has two big problems: the rise of violent crime and the “unprecedented epidemic of heroin and opioid abuse” in the country.

Luckily, the ingenious new Attorney General has a solution to the country’s problems. It’s very simple really: peel back the legalization of cannabis.

That’s right. After expounding on the horrors of the opioid epidemic, saying that, “Overdose deaths more than tripled between 2010 and 2014” and that “every three weeks, we are losing as many American lives to drug overdoses as we lost in the 9/11 attacks,” Sessions offered what must be, given the severity of the problem, and his position at the top of the justice system, a very thoughtful and well rounded strategy to ending this crisis.

It comes in three stages: “criminal enforcement, treatment and prevention.” But the first two, according to Session’s speech, are not so important. As for enforcement, the AG gave meaningless double-talk, saying that “One of the President’s executive orders directed the Justice Department to dismantle these organizations and gangs – and we will do just that.” As for treatment, he gave only one almost comically brief and flippant remark: “Treatment programs are also vital,” he said. “But treatment often comes too late to save people from addiction or death.” That’s only twenty words!

By contrast, he spent 96 words speaking about the evils of marijuana. He very literally, actually spent five times more words on marijuana than he did on opioid addiction treatment when delivering a speech on how to end the opioid addiction crisis. And twice as many words on preventing the use and sale marijuana as he did on preventing the use and sale of opioids. Literally!

Because prevention is the real lynchpin of this crisis, according to Sessions, and by prevention he means “stop going so easy of people who buy and sell weed.”

Here are his full remarks on cannabis at the event:

“I reject the idea that America will be a better place if marijuana is sold in every corner store.  And I am astonished to hear people suggest that we can solve our heroin crisis by legalizing marijuana – so people can trade one life-wrecking dependency for another that’s only slightly less awful.  Our nation needs to say clearly once again that using drugs will destroy your life.”

The AG went on to express nostalgia for the good old Reagan War On Drugs days when the nation knew that, “Educating people and telling them the terrible truth about drugs and addiction will result in better choices.”

But maybe Sessions should start by educating himself, if not on drugs than on simple math. Because while every three weeks, we may lose “as many American lives to drug overdoses as we lost in the 9/11 attacks,” we haven’t lost any lives to marijuana overdose ever. And zero deaths is not “only slightly less awful” than hundreds of thousands.

Few more powerful cases for medical marijuana could be made than by Professor X.

In the new X-Men film Logan, ultimate mutant Charles Xavier, now more than 90 years old, suffers severe seizures. Since he has the most powerful mind in the world (so powerful the government has classified it as a Weapon of Mass Destruction) these seizures do much harm to those around him. When Charles loses control of his mind, everyone within a radius of a couple blocks becomes paralyzed. This supreme mind has even caused the deaths of innocent passersby.

A daily helping of CBD oil, shown to be incredibly effective with treating epileptic seizures might not only improve the health of the aging Professor, but could even save the lives of all those dead civilians unlucky enough to be in his wake.

In this area the fictional mentor of superheroes could take some advice from his real-world counterpart: the actor who plays him, Patrick Stewart.

The Shakesperean-cum-Star Trekian-cum-mutant actor recently issued a statement on his support of medical cannabis, revealing how he’s used it to treat his arthritis and encouraging the use and study of the drug for medical purposes.

“Two years ago, in Los Angeles, I was examined by a doctor and given a note which gave me legal permission to purchase, from a registered outlet, cannabis-based products,” Stewart said.

The actor elaborated that he uses a combination of marijuana-derived edibles, ointments and sprays as a treatment regiment. “The ointment, while providing some relief from the discomfort, was too greasy to use during daytime and so I only use it at night,” he said. “It helps with sleep as the pain was reduced. The spray, however, is much more usable and I spray my fingers and particularly my thumb joints several times a day.

“The spray very quickly evaporates and leaves my hands quite dry, though with a slight burning or tingling sensation, which is not unpleasant. I believe that the ointment and spray have significantly reduced the stiffness and pain in my hands.”

Stewart said the cannabis-based medicine has been more effective than conventional pharmaceuticals in combatting his ortho-arthritis.“I can make fists, which was not the case before I began this treatment,” he said. “I have had no negative side effects from this treatment and the alternative would have been to continue taking NSAID’s, Advil, Aleve and Naproxen, which are known to be harsh on the liver and to cause acid reflux.”

If only his character Charles Xavier had been given that opportunity instead of being shot full of that disorienting serum Wolverine gives him a couple times a day.

Stewart’s words on cannabis were in support of an MMJ study at Oxford University. “This is an important step forward for Britain in a field of research that has for too long been held back by prejudice, fear and ignorance,” the actor said. “I believe this programme of research might result in benefits for people like myself as well as millions of others.”

An unlikely thing just happened in a Washington Goodwill. Employees at the location were sorting through the day’s loot when they discovered, inside a donated a cooler, roughly four pounds of nugs.

An even more unlikely thing happened just after. Instead of exploiting these riches for money or pleasure, the Goodwill employees decided to donate the weed themselves to some folks who surely weren’t about to make the most of their gift.

Last week, the Twitter account for the Monroe, Washington Police Department posted a photo of the cooler containing four pounds of pellet-perfect dank nuggets and an officer smiling over it them like he just opened his Christmas present.

“This cooler was donated over the weekend to the Goodwill. Employees surprised when they opened the lid. Police were called…,” read the post from Monroe PD.

A tip from the Dabs Mag staff: police social media feeds are often super entertaining. Not so in the case of @MonroePolice, which is mostly made up of links to its blotter. Exceptions in the last week are limited to one photo of a vehicle fire, the previously quoted post, and a retweet which thickens the plot of the donated nug cooler somewhat.

The tweet from local crime reporter Nikki King read: “Police: 3.75 pounds of pot found at the Monroe Goodwill are likely tied to a string of home invasion robberies and dispensary burglaries.”

Turns out those people wanted in connection with giving away large amounts of marijuana are now also wanted in connection with taking large amounts of marijuana. According to King’s reporting in the Herald Net, the great Goodwill ganja giveaway came only two days before a search warrant was served by the Snohomish County property crimes unit in relation to a string of home-invasion robberies and cannabis dispensary burglaries and holdups.

Ten pounds of cannabis were seized during the search, along with firearms, and the bags this cannabis were discovered in bore markings similar to the bags discovered at the nearby Goodwill. Someone curious enough to compare photos from the two police findings might also discover that the buds themselves bear some resemblance.

Two people have already been arrested in connection with the crime spree and local authorities say more arrests are expected to follow.

So, how exactly did this property which might have been stolen during felony robberies end up donated to a local Goodwill? No one knows as of yet, but they would like to. ”You always want to know the rest of the story,” said Monroe Police Department administrator Debbie Willis.

You can hit a wall for getting high. Anyone who’s ever been an all-day everyday stoner knows it. At a certain point, your tolerance gets so high that the THC just doesn’t have the same old effect anymore. When this happens, at first you can just step up the quantity, but then you reach a point where the quantity can’t really get any bigger and you’re still not gettin high.

With dabbing, the problem is even more exaggerated. Someone who dabs all day isn’t going to get anything from a few puffs on a spliff. They might not get anything from a gram of wax.

Movie star/true detective/white-man-who-can’t-jump Woody Harrelson may have finally hit that THC tolerance wall. What’s for certain is that the actor says he hasn’t used cannabis in nearly a year. In an interview with Vulture regarding his soon-to-be-released indie comedy Wilson, Harrelson said that after “30 solid years of just partying too fucking hard,” weed just isn’t doing what it once did for him.

Marijuana, he said, is “a great drug, in terms of… euphoria.” “But when you’re doing it all the time,” he continues, “it just becomes … Well, you know. I feel like it was keeping me from being emotionally available,” which sounds like weed used to make the actor feel great, but now that he’s used it so much for so long, it’s making him feel not so great.

Despite having quit the cheeba, the actor said he’s still a “party animal.” He still drinks, he says, and he apparently has a notorious trailer he brings on the set of each film he works on for the purposes of partying down. Donned “The Mothership,” the trailer is actually a refurbished bus that’s already been redone three times over since 2001, including having the engine replaced. “It’s a giant money pit,” Harrelson says, “but I still love it. I love her.”

And he’s been tempted to fall off the cannabis wagon he’s been riding almost a year now. Being not just a pothead who’s famous, but someone who’s famous for being a pothead for so many years probably makes it hard to shake off the offers. “Well, like, last night, someone had — not just good herb but sativa; really good sativa,” Harrelson said.

“There’s a joint, and beautifully rolled. I like a beautifully rolled … and I just was like, I mean, I’ve gone this long. It would be weird to just be like, “Okay, let me have a hit off that,” and then suddenly go back to smoking too much.”

Guess that means he probably won’t be opening that dispensary in Hawaii after all.

Of all the dozens of state medical marijuana laws across the country, there are a few which are pretty problematic. One of the most hollow and bureaucracy cock-blocked of these laws is the law allowing CBD oil in Mississippi.

That’s because, actually, the law doesn’t allow for CBD oil treatment in anything but a clinical trial. And even for that to happen, the state will have to jump through several hoops before it can legally do so. And even after that, only five to ten children will actually get the clinical treatment. And even then, the afflicted young girl who the law is actually named after might not be among the very few chosen to participate in the trial.

Harper Grace was just two years old in 2014 when Mississippi passed the Harper Grace Law. Since then, her and her family have waited three years to receive a legal alternative to heavy medication in the treatment of her Dravet syndrome, a rare and severe form of epilepsy. Researchers at the University of Mississippi Medical Center have not yet elected participants for the study.

“At the end of the day, I know everyone can’t be put in the study. It would be very selfish of me to say we deserve it only because her name is on the bill and we did all the work,” Ashley Peszynski Durval, Harper’s mother, told The Clarion Ledger.

If Harper isn’t allowed to be treated with the extract in Mississippi, Durval said the family will have to relocate to another state where medical marijuana laws are more permissive, if they can afford to do so.

“I just want my sweet girl to have a chance,” she said. “I want Harper to to be in the trial before things get any worse for her…I believe she has a chance to live somewhat of a normal life. Dravet syndrome will never go away, but maybe with the help of (cannabis oil) she can have a chance to get off all the medications … Her body has been so polluted since she was 6 months old.”

Before the UMMC can even begin their teeny tiny clinical trial, it needs the approval of three separate federal agencies: the National Institute on Drug Abuse, the Food and Drug Administration, and the Drug Enforcement Administration. Dr. Brad Ingram, director of the UMMC’s Pediatric Comprehensive Epilepsy Center said that the study would not receive its required permission before late spring or summer at the earliest.

Photo via Flickr user Don Goofy

Amid concerns that President Trump and his newly-appointed, deeply anti-cannabis Attorney General Jeff Sessions were going to crackdown on marijuana comes a sigh of relief: the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration just moved THC to the Schedule II category of controlled substances. Good news, right?

Except, wait… shit. It only applies to the shitty synthetic version of THC which is made by giant pharmaceutical companies. The DEA announced Thursday that it had moved “FDA-approved products of oral solutions containing dronabinol” to Schedule II, as reported by The Cannabist.

That category is not quite so bad as Schedule I. Drugs in its class are still considered to have a “high potential for abuse” but also some medical use. So, according to the DEA, the gross-sounding dronabinol has medical use, but raw cannabis or organic cannabinoids do not. This means that doctors will be able to prescribe dronabinol while they won’t be able to prescribe virtually any other form of cannabis.

It’s a little bit of a cliche to jump to conclusions and call a big pharmaceutical company evil and their product inferior to its organic counterpart, but let’s take a look at the facts. The move by the DEA seems to be partially due to the proposed introduction of Syndros, a liquid form of dronabinol from the company Insys Therapeutics.

Don’t let Insys’s pharmaceutical company sheen fool you. They have a lot of street cred. In fact, they’ve had enforcement action brought down on them by the Department of Justice for paying doctors to prescribe their fentanyl spray Subsys (don’t they have such appealing product names?).

Don’t worry. Justice was served. Those rotten crooks at Subsys who were pushing their insanely addictive opioid that was much more potent than heroin and easy to use as Binaca were given their just desserts: they were told “don’t do that” by the DOJ and then paid a few million of their vast fortunes of money. No one went to jail. It’s not like they were selling weed!

Except now they are going to sell weed. Well, not weed. A synthetic, weaker version of weed that isolates one single cannabinoid, creates it in a lab, and ships it off to a pharmacy near you. That sounds more complicated and expensive than just growing a weed plant and smoking it or making extract from it, but don’t worry, they pass the expenses on to you, the customer.

And dronabinol has all kinds of cool features you can’t find in regular organic weed. Like, for instance, a possible side effect of seizures and the absence of the medicinally helpful entourage effect. Maybe most importantly, it takes money out of the hands of farmers and small business owners. Who needs organic cannabis anyway? Why would you eat a salad when you could have V8 Juice?

Photo via Flickr user David Gach

Amid fears that the current White House administration may intrude on state-permitted cannabis programs, lawmakers are drafting up strategies to protect their marijuana businesses from federal prosecution.

The most drastic of these plans come from Colorado, where a bill has been introduced into Legislature that would allow everyone in the recreational marijuana business to switch over their licenses to the state’s medical marijuana program, as reported by the Associated Press.

If passed, the measure would give the roughly 500 licensed recreational weed cultivators and retailers the ability to rebrand themselves as MMJ providers in the hopes that it would shield them from interference from the DEA and other federal agencies. The plan is not without its problems.

For one thing, there’s the major decrease in tax proceeds the state would see. Anyone who made the switch would suddenly pay a lot less in taxes (2.9 percent for medical vs. 17.9 percent for recreational), so it seems likely that many of them would do so and fast. If that happened, the state would see its marijuana tax revenue drop by more than a $100 million, an amount of money they would probably miss.

But the drafters of the bill think that drop in tax dollars would be preferable to a possible annihilation of the recreational marijuana program. “If there is a change in federal law, then I think all of our businesses want to stay in business somehow. They’ve made major investments,” said State Senator Tim Neville, one of the lawmakers who sponsored the bill.

But what if there isn’t a change in federal law? So far, everything from Attorney General Jeff Sessions regarding cannabis enforcement is all talk (though it is a lot of talk). And though the White House has delineated a difference between recreational and medical cannabis (a “big difference” according to spokesperson Sean Spicer), the fact remains that under federal law medical marijuana isn’t really any more legal than recreational marijuana and they can go after it just the same.

Meanwhile other states have taken different tactics to protect their cannabis businesses. Oregon lawmakers are trying to pass a bill to ban cannabis stores from keeping data on their customers which could be used by law enforcement agencies. California is also weighing a bill which would block its local law enforcement from assisting federal agencies with investigations of legal cannabis businesses.

Photo via Flickr user Dank Depot

Hello, America. You’ve got a new Drug Czar and his name is Richard Baum. While the title “drug czar” conjures (for us at least) images of a heroin cartel leader lounging by the olympic-sized swimming pool of their vast, remote Oaxaca estate, in fact Richard Baum is a seasoned technocrat with decades of experience in White House drug policy who probably lives in a decent two-story home somewhere in the forested Virginia suburbs outside D.C..

Baum has served under both the Obama administration and the latter Bush administration, worked as an adjunct professor at Georgetown University, and (according to his Linked in page) has a dog named Cody (that’s really on there).

On Tuesday, Dan Diamond of Politico announced via Twitter that Baum had got the job of acting drug czar, an unofficial term for director of the Office of National Drug Control Policy (ONDCP).

What exactly does the ONDCP do, as opposed to say the Justice Department or the DEA? Well, if you ask WhiteHouse.gov, it says, “Check back soon for more information.” So, we guess they’re not too sure themselves. If you ask Wikipedia what the ONDCP does, it says its “stated goal is to establish policies, priorities, and objectives to eradicate illicit drug use, manufacturing, and trafficking, drug-related crime and violence, and drug-related health consequences in the U.S.”

Maybe part of the reason the White House’s webpage for the agency is still blank is that the key word in Baum’s title is “acting” drug czar. Presumably somebody else is yet to take permanent reigns on the ONDCP. Though, given the administration’s current vacancies in federal positions, that somebody might not come along any time soon.

Meanwhile, some changes to federal drug laws are expected in the near future following the President Trump’s executive order to create the President’s Commission on Combating Opioid Abuse, Addiction, and Overdose.

Headed by New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, the commission will in the next 90 days, “make recommendations for potential legislative or regulatory changes in federal criminal law or processes, to facilitate treatment and recovery for offenders who suffer from addiction, and the use of prisoner reentry programs to help sustain recovery after incarceration with a consideration for the impacts on children.”

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

The DEA may be cracking down on interstate cannabis trafficking, but someone else is cracking down on the down-crackers. The big uncle cracker in question here is the Office of the Inspector General, a division of the Department of Justice.

It said Wednesday that the Drug Enforcement Administration has taken much too much liberty with its administrative forfeitures, often seizing and keeping property and money from people never charged with a crime or even formally involved in an investigation.

The office looked at 100 seizures the DEA made and found that the DEA had only verified 44 of those as having “advanced or been related to ongoing investigations, resulted in the development of new investigations and led to arrests or prosecutions,” according to the Associated Press.

The DEA did not even require its agents to learn asset forfeiture laws before they started taking people’s shit, according to the office’s findings.

The inspector general’s office went as far as to say that it looked a lot like the DEA was just taking people’s money basically because they wanted to. “When seizure and administrative forfeitures do not ultimately advance an investigation or prosecution, law enforcement creates the appearance, and risks the reality, that it is more interested in seizing and forfeiting cash than advancing an investigation or prosecution,” the office wrote in a statement.

In a twist that makes you want to laugh and cry all at the same time, the criminal division of the Department of Justice has contradicted the findings of the inspector general, saying that their findings were misleading and founded on incomplete, flawed data. The inspector general, it said, ignored “robust training” that the DOJ offers to all pertinent agents, including DEA agents, and underreported the return of seized money.

The contradicting report threatens to confuse the government watchdog group’s allegations and prevent the DEA and other agencies of the Justice Department from righting their wrongs, namely to stop taking people’s money from them without any legal cause.

The Trump White House has sent the DEA to fetch it some info on Colorado’s cannabis crimes. That’s according to an email from the Drug Enforcement Administration’s Denver field office to senior assistant attorney general Michael Melito, and reported on by the Denver Post.

The email requests that the state of Colorado hand over case numbers related to several specific cannabis-related prosecutions. “Some of our intel people are trying to track down info regarding some of DEA’s better marijuana investigations for the new administration,” the email reads. “Hopefully it will lead to some positive changes.”

Though most of the cases requested by the DEA email were redacted (crossed out) before they got to the press, two remained on the list for the public to see, both listed in code names: “Texas THC” and “Golden Gopher.”

In typical current White House imprecision, the second case seems to be a reference to a joint state-federal prosecution dating back to 2015 and known as “Operation Golden Go-fer.” That case involved illegal weed grown in Colorado and shipped out to Minnesota, making it a federal case because of the drug trafficking, which makes it the business of the federal government. The name “Texas THC’ might suggest that it too involves interstate trafficking.

What exactly the new presidential administration wants with this information is a mystery. President Trump, for his part, has said on more than one occasion (while campaigning) that he wished to leave marijuana legalization up to the individual state, telling KUSA-TV in Colorado that when it came to cannabis, “I think it’s up to the states, yeah. I’m a states person. I think it should be up to the states, absolutely.”

Attorney General Jeff Sessions has been singing a different tune, a much less upbeat one, that goes something like this: “Marijuana is against federal law, and that applies in states where they may have repealed their own anti-marijuana laws,” the Attorney General said last month. “So yes, we will enforce law in an appropriate way nationwide.”

A Colorado Attorney General spokesperson told the Post that the email was about particular cases and not future federal tactics toward marijuana. “Our office has a long-standing relationship with the DEA, as it is our role to prosecute illegal drug cases,” Anita Skinner said. “The change in administration at the federal level has not changed that relationship. This email was clearly discussing current criminal cases not policy.”

A spokeswoman for the state attorney general’s office declined to say what information, specifically, was given to the DEA, noting that she cannot comment, “on any discussions that may or may not have been had in regards to ongoing criminal cases.” She also declined to say whether the DEA has made other information requests on behalf of the Trump administration.

However, in an e-mail, spokeswoman Annie Skinner cast the message as part of the office’s normal partnership with the DEA.

“Our office has a long-standing relationship with the DEA, as it is our role to prosecute illegal drug cases,” Skinner wrote. “The change in administration at the federal level has not changed that relationship. This email was clearly discussing current criminal cases not policy.”

Most of the cases for which the e-mail requests information are redacted in the copy released to the International Business Times. But two cases are identified by their code names: “Golden Gopher” and “Texas THC.”

The former appears to be a reference to a 2015 joint state-federal case that has also been referred to as “Operation Golden Go-fer.” It involved 32 people indicted for alleged involvement in a multimillion-dollar scheme to grow marijuana illegally in Colorado and ship it out of state, mostly to Minnesota. Though the grows for the ring were not licensed under state law, they were located in warehouse areas popular with state-legal growers. Law enforcement officials later cited the case as an example of illegal growers trying to take advantage of Colorado’s marijuana laws and hide in plain sight.

How the Trump administration will deal with Colorado’s legal marijuana system has been a source of anxiety for many in the state’s cannabis industry. While Trump indicated on the campaign trail that he supports state’s rights on the matter, statements by his press secretary and by new U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions have hinted at a stricter approach.

“Marijuana is against federal law, and that applies in states where they may have repealed their own anti-marijuana laws,” Sessions said last month. “So yes, we will enforce law in an appropriate way nationwide.”

Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper, though, has said he’s not sure the federal government can overturn marijuana legalization in the state, and Colorado Attorney General Cynthia Coffman has invited the feds to come to the state to learn more about its marijuana laws, which she has said she will defend if necessary.

Skinner said no visit has yet taken place.

For a very brief period Wednesday morning, the TSA made history and claimed that it was cool for you to bring your medical marijuana on a flight, either in checked or carry on bags. The announcement was made on the TSA’s website.

This change in policy was not only momentous for the TSA. This was actually the first time a federal agency had ever explicitly permitted the possession of medical cannabis, not to mention the carrying of that medical cannabis across state lines.

By noon, TSA had reversed its policy and reset it to pretty much what you would expect it to be. So what exactly happened?

At 9 AM PST Wednesday the surprising claim from the TSA was discovered by MassRoots. Here’s what it said on the “What Can I Bring?” page of the agency’s website at that time:

“Medical Marijuana

Carry on Baggage: Yes

Checked baggage: Yes

“TSA security officers do not search for marijuana or other drugs. In the event a substance that appears to be marijuana is observed during security screening, TSA will refer the matter to a law enforcement officer.”

This was obviously confusing. So, medical cannabis was okay to bring on a plane and no one was looking for it, but if the TSA did accidentally find your stash they would have to call the cops?

By 10:55 AM PST the page had been changed, as discovered by the folks over at Leafly. In fact, it seems, that change may have actually be indirectly caused by the folks over at Leafly. According to their reporting, soon after the Leafly staff tried contacted TSA to see if their suddenly 420-friendly stance was for real, the entire section about medical marijuana had been removed from the TSA webpage.

Shortly after, the TSA changed their “What Can I Bring?” page again, this time reversing their stance on medical marijuana and adding clarification (sort of) to the section. The answer to could you bring medical marijuana in either carry on baggage or checked baggage was now a big bold type red-colored “No.”

The TSA’s previous statement was restored, with the following addition:

“Whether or not marijuana is considered legal under local law is not relevant to TSA screening because TSA is governed by federal law. Federal law provides no basis to treat medical marijuana any differently than non-medical marijuana.”

The TSA also attempted to directly clear this up, seeming to take a non-commitall stance to medical marijuana that basically said, “we’re not trying to bust you but if we find weed we’ll probably call the cops.” The agency’s wonderfully named public affairs rmanager Lorie Dankers wrote that, “There was an error in the database of the ‘What can I bring?’ tool that is now corrected,” and that, “TSA’s response to the discovery of marijuana is the same in every state and at every airport – regardless of whether marijuana has been legalized in a state.”

TSA’s focus, she said, was “on terrorism and security threats to the aircraft and its passengers,” but added that, “if during the security screening process an officer discovers an item that may violate the law, TSA refers the matter to law enforcement. Law enforcement officials will determine whether to initiate a criminal investigation or what steps – if any – will be taken.”

Canada is beating America to the weed legalization party. The U.S.’s neighbor to the north is set to go full legal as of July 1, 2018, according to the CBC, a state-founded, publicly-funded impartial news outlet out of Canada (guess not putting people in jail for weed isn’t the only thing the Canucks are ahead on).

The legislation to actually put all this legal weed legal mumbo jumbo into action is slated to be introduced next week. At the national level, the legal minimum age for possession will be 18 and those who want to grow their own will be limited to four plants per household, but provinces will have their own discretion as to the limits on amounts of cannabis bought and sold.

Jealous though Americans are of our Canadian brethren, it may be important to show a little solidarity with them and congratulate them on their newfound freedom. But how exactly can we party like a stoner hoser while in the middle of Arkansas or Indiana? We’ve got five stupendous suggestions below.

1. Indulge in Canadian Stoner Culture

The most convenient (and maybe most fun) way to do that would be to just stream a little Trailer Park Boys off of Netflix. Light your oil rig or bong or spliff and be carried off to a magical fantasy land of doomed-to-fail schemes, endless rum and cokes, and ventriloquist dummies. For a deeper dive, go check out Strange Brew. Or, if you want to cheat, just check out Canadian emigre Nathan Fielder’s brilliant Comedy Central show Nathan For You.

2. Get Some Canadian Weed

To really understand the mindset of a Canadian pothead, you need to smoke some Canadian pot. In a convenient list of North North American buds compiled by Leafly, several stellar strains from the land of Alanis Morissette were highlighted, including the indica God Bud, ancestor of both Grape God and Blue God. Also most definitely worth checking out are the fabled BC hybrid knockout Mendocino Purps and the killer Manitoba Poison.

3. Tattoos in Honor of Justin Trudeau

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is one of those cool politicians. Besides his cool credentials from legalizing fucking weed, he’s a boxer, he’s young (45), and he’s tatted up. The representative of the Liberal Party of Canada has a tattoo of the Earth spinning inside a raven. The artwork comes from the indigenous Haida people of British Columbia, who were cool with the tattoo until Trudeau started approving policies which appropriated their land to dig up liquified natural gas and build oil pipelines. Then they were like what the fuck.

4. Drake

You might think this speaks for itself, but what could speak even better for the idea of Drake as emblematic to his country is to first watch him get shot in a high school and then watch him dance in a glowing box.

Deep Dive Of Canadian Culture

When helping the Canadians celebrate their newfound indica independence and sativa salvation, you should have more to talk to them about then just the basic Canadian culture bullet points of Drake, Seth Rogen, and Alanis Morissette. Like how about the French-Canadian Cannes Film Festival Best Director winner Xavier Dolan, who’s bitching movie Mommy got him all gushed over or the head-trippy psycho-sexual Corey Hart-showcasing Tom at the Farm. Or how about the cult classic horror film Shivers or the recently passed away legendary singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen or the insane SNL-offshoot The Kids in the Hall. All of which would go good with a nice wax-dripping spliff.

But the main thing is to just send good vibes and intentions drifting up north along with the exhale from your dab, maybe hoping for an equally rad, well-spoken argument for legalization from a politician in American, kind of like this inarguable succinct choice nugget that Trudeau gave last year:

“There are billions upon billions of dollars flowing into the pockets of organized crime, street gangs and gun-runners, because of the illicit marijuana trade, and if we can get that out of the criminal elements and into a more regulated fashion we will reduce the amount of criminal activity that’s profiting from those, and that has offshoots into so many other criminal activities.”

The newest attempt by Congress to reschedule marijuana is a risky gambit. Where most bills on the topic have suggested moving cannabis from Schedule I to Schedule II on the list of federally controlled substances, a new bipartisan would make like a cheat code and skip a level straight to Schedule III.

Schedule III controlled substances are a fun grab bag of drugs that the feds couldn’t figure out where else to put. It includes heavily abusable drugs such as codeine and ketamine, in addition to somewhat less notorious drugs like Tylenol.

The measure that would move cannabis into this no-man’s-land is bipartisan, being co-sponsored by Republican Rep. Matt Gaetz and Democratic Rep. Darren Soto, both of Florida.

Gaetz might be the one to watch out of the two. The fact that he’s a Republican champion of marijuana advocacy makes him stand out, but what really sets the congressman apart is the fact that he’s a successful champion of marijuana advocacy.

As a state legislator, Gaetz sponsored two cannabis bills: one to legalize “non-euphoric” medical marijuana and another to expand the rights of terminally ill patients to give them access to THC cannabis products. Both actually passed and were signed into law.

“I have supported cannabis reform as a state legislator, and I want to see the people that I fought for in my state have access to a legal, high-quality product that’s been well-researched,” the congressman told The Cannabist.

To make the whole unlikely weed hero story complete, Gaetz actually used to oppose medical cannabis until TV changed his mind. After watching the well-known CNN special report “Weed” featuring Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Gaetz thought, “somebody should do something about that.” But in a stoner-ish delayed reaction, he then realized, wait a minute, “I realized I could do that.”

The main goal, said Gaetz, is to give the industry a leg up by letting it bank legally and allow for much greater research, which is currently hampered by its Schedule I status. “It’s a modest step forward to try to find the most possible common ground,” Gaetz said. “I’ve seen that work.”

Most likely House Bill 2020 will go the way of so many House Bills before it: the recycling bin. But we’re glad these peeps are here still trying. One of them will probably stick sooner or later.

There are many reasons for a cannabis detox. Maybe you just got hired as an FBI agent and they’re about to piss test you. Maybe you’re giving up all the THC in your system for lent. Maybe you’re in jail praying you can piss all that drug residue out of your body before someone asks you to pee in a cup.

With all the reasons there are to want a marijuana detox, there are just as many products and home remedies that will supposedly get the job done. Those range from insane, super-dangerous urban legends (like drinking bleach) to harmless but unreliable rumors (niacin or cranberry juice).

The unfortunate truth is that the only 100% full-proof method for a full cannabis detox is to actually stop smoking (or dabbing or vaping or eating) cannabis for a prolonged period of time. (Since metabolisms vary, this can take anywhere from one to six weeks).

But just because you’re going the natural route doesn’t mean there aren’t ways to help the process along. A recent article from Leafly outlined a few good tips for turning your body into a well-oiled THC-expelling machine. Among them are:

• Work out

Since THC is stored in the body’s fat cells, exercise can cut down on the cannabinoid present in your system by burning fat.

• Lots of water

Excessive amounts of water won’t clean the body out any faster, but staying hydrated helps with any kind of cleanse.

• Healthy diet with lots of leafy greens

It almost just sounds like we’re telling you to live a healthy lifestyle at this point, which we are. Greens help to detoxify the body (especially stuff like kale and spinach) while junk food gives you more fat cells, which in turn gives THC more places to hang out in your body.

• Drinking tea

            Make like a brit and suck down some earl gray. You don’t have anything else to do since you’ve freed up all your weed-smoking time anyway and the antioxidants in tea is a good helping hand to give your body as it detoxes.

• Get rest and relaxation

This isn’t a must in a physical sense, but suddenly abstaining from marijuana after a period of heavy means your body is going to suddenly have a different chemical balance. That can cause unpleasant effects including anxiety, depression, headaches, insomnia, irritability, and loss of appetite. All the other tips mentioned above (exercise, water, healthy diet) will help with those effects. It also might be helpful to reduce stressors in your life that might exacerbate these negative effects and give yourself room to relax and rest if possible.

Photo by Flickr user Mark

It’s not uncommon for parents to face child abuse charges related to their marijuana use in a variety of different situations. On one end of the extreme, there are parents who are licensed medical marijuana patients and wind up facing charges of felony child abuse.

One example is a California couple who in 2015, after neighbors called the police over a verbal argument coming from their house, were arrested and their 11 year-old infant was put in foster care because officers found dispensary-issued marijuana sitting out in the house. The couple spent days in jail and months in court trying to dispute the charge.

On the other end of the extreme you have parents who clearly are endangering the lives of their children through dangerous uses of cannabis, like the Oregon man who just this week pled guilty to two counts of first degree child neglect after his butane hash oil operation blew up his house with his two children both outside last summer.

Mostly law-abiding middle class parents who smoke an occasional joint after their kids go to bed don’t have that much to fear. But parents who choose to administer medical cannabis to their children (particularly those epilepsy with autism) in violation of the law are in a pretty troubling gray area.

This can culminate in some pretty ugly situations like when a desperate mother in Idaho gave cannabis-infused butter to her epileptic daughter after the two year-old suffered bad reactions to pharmaceutical treatments. Because the mother had no access to CBD extract, she used a THC strain to make her own. Once authorities got wind of this, the mother of course lost custody of her two children.

47 states have laws that make using controlled substances around children an offense in and of itself. Only five states (Arkansas, Idaho, Minnesota, Ohio, Oregon, and South Dakota) specifically mention using forms of cannabis as an offense, but since marijuana is a controlled substance on the federal level, state laws against the parental use of controlled substances can apply to marijuana, even in states which have legalized the drug. That’s how you get into a mess like the California couple mentioned above.

Is there any endangerment for a child if parents use marijuana in their home? This of course varies family to family and depends on your criteria. Researchers from UCLA recently found that homes they studied in which parents used marijuana were more likely to see physical neglect and physical abuse. This is possibly comparable to homes in which parents drink alcohol, but drinking alcohol by itself is of course not grounds for revoking custody or charges of child abuse.

Acting Drug Enforcement Administration director Chuck Rosenberg faced questions last week from a congressional committee last week over his agency’s sanctioned importation of drugs into communities. Incredibly (or maybe not, given this administration’s behavior), Rosenberg’s response was basically, “Gee. I don’t know.”

It’s a response that would be grounds for termination if say, the general manager of an Arby’s franchise were questioned over whether he permitted drugs to be sold in his store because they helped sell curly fries to customers with the munchies. And yet that’s not too different from the response the head of a federal government agency gave to a similar question.

Before a House Judiciary Committee oversight hearing of the DEA and ATF, Rosenberg was asked if the DEA allowed its agents and informants to let drug supplies into communities so that they could track the money trail from the drugs and “get the bigger fish?”

The acting director then answered with confusing, non-definitive language, saying, “We’re not supposed to know, sir.” When he was pushed whether he was “aware of any instances where it may happen,” he answered, “I’ll have to check and get back to you on that,” as reported by The Washington Post.

The questions were phrased in the context of the notorious “Fast and Furious” program, a heavily scrutinized ATF operation which allowed the sale of black market guns in order to track the buyers, but lost some 1,400 firearms, two of which became involved in the murder of a Border Patrol agent in 2010.

Rosenberg did not answer definitively whether the DEA engages in similar practices. He did not even answer definitively whether he was aware of these practices or not. Luckily for him, it’s not required for the agency to report activity such as supervising the trafficking of illegal drugs without disturbing it.

But several people outside the agency say this kind of tactic is commonplace. “We are deliberately letting the drugs get to their final destination, get sold, get used, and in some cases letting someone die of an overdose,” said Brady Henderson of the Oklahoma ACLU.

Tony Papa of the Drug Policy Alliance echoed that sentiment, telling the Post, “In my experience dealing with hundreds of drug war prisoners this behavior is embedded in DEA practices.”

Why exactly does the DEA get up to these potentially life-threatening shenanigans, prioritizing following money over intercepting drugs? There is that logic that Detective Freeman says in The Wire: “You follow drugs, you get drug addicts and drug dealers. But you start to follow the money, and you don’t know where the fuck it’s gonna take you.”

But some more cynical people might see this as financial self-interest on the part of law enforcement agencies. Any drugs they seize get destroyed. But cash collected can be kept under asset forfeiture laws.

Ronald Reagan must be spinning in his grave. A legal, legit cannabis kids club has opened up in California, the state he once presided over as Governor. Turns out a lot of parents and medical professionals want children with severe illnesses like epilepsy to “Just Say Yes” to getting better.

Jayden’s Journey, a dispensary in Modesto, caters especially to the needs of child medical marijuana patients. The collective carries 145 varieties of extract, according to its Weed Maps page, many of which are CBD concentrates approved for the use of juveniles.

Jason David, the dispensary’s president, named the collective after his son Jayden, and says that he understands the special needs of a family with a child in need of cannabis oil. “When a child is sick the whole family is sick,” David told Fox 4.

For many parents, he says, it can be the only working cure or a preferable alternative to more conventional treatments. “A quarter million people die a year from pharmaceuticals, the same ones we give our children, and no one says a word,” David said. “If it doesn’t work, throw it away.” On the other hand, for many, “it changes your life like it changes my son’s life.”

One example of this kind of change is Zoe Ridenour, an 8-year-old suffering from ADHD ADD extreme. Before treatment with CBD oil, Zoe was in the depths of a deteriorating mental strain.  “She started getting ticks, crying all the time. At one point, she told me she didn’t want to live anymore,” Zoe’s mother Sherry told Fox.

But in the year and a half since Zoe began her treatment of just a few drops of extract a day, there’s been a world of improvement. “She sleeps. She’s gained weight. She’s happy; she smiles; she laughs,” Sherry said.

The services of Jayden’s Journey have been also indispensable to children suffering from epilepsy, probably the most well known of the childhood afflictions treatable with medical cannabis.

Zya Mao is only 6 months old, but she suffers from epilepsy. Her father Jhoson Mao says that CBD oil is preferable to traditional pharmaceuticals and that he’s already noticed a change in her. “We noticed… she feels present, her eye is not as wobbly as it used to be,” he said.

Wisconsinites can now add to their diet of cheese, beer, and sausage a little something that’s actually healthy for the body and soil. Governor Scott Walker on Monday signed a bill to make a workable program for CBD oil in the state.

The bill is interesting for at least two reasons. First, its passage and signing shows a change of heart in a Republican-majority state senate who previously blocked the bill. Second, the bill is an example of a state actively trying to improve a flawed and limited medical marijuana program, something many other states might learn from.

Senate Bill 10 expands the use of CBD oil that was previously legalized back in 2014 in a piece of legislation called Lydia’s Law. The problem with Lydia’s Law was that it was extremely restrictive. So restrictive, in fact, that the law’s namesake Lydia Schaeffer, a young girl suffering from a severe form of epilepsy, died before she could ever receive legal CBD treatment.

The new legislation expands the confines of the law to allow treatment with CBD oil for any patient who gets a yearly doctor recommendation.

A bill with a similar goal died in the Senate last year after passing in the State Assembly, with conservative senators saying they feared the law would pave the way for wider medical marijuana programs. Since then, some Republican state senators who opposed CBD expansion either lost their seat or changed their position on the issue.

This version of the bill passed the Senate in a 31-1 vote in February and was favored by Assembly unanimously in March. It was then signed into law by Governor Scott Walker, a onetime hopeful in the 2016 Republican primary race.

“Today, we’re making it easier for people in our state to obtain CBD oil without a psychoactive effect to treat a medical condition as advised by their doctor,” Walker said in a statement, according to The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

Just in case you’re worried that Walker has gone soft, know that he also signed a bill Monday which makes it so contractors working on tax-funded construction projects can go around unions. Same old Walker.

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

For a relatively new industry, the cannabis world has gotten pretty technologically advanced. As concentrates make up a bigger and bigger part of the market, more and more of the industry comes down to fine science. Not just botany and agriculture, but the detailed chemistry of boiling points and chemical reactions.

In the science of producing marijuana concentrates, the weed biz has actually pulled ahead of some other, more established industries. But now they’re starting to catch up.

That’s what Block 15 Brewing Co. has done. They’ve looked to the technology of weed extract to try to improve their beers, and they’re having success so far. Since cannabis and hops are cousin plants, the company out of Corvallis, Oregon is experimenting with isolating certain qualities from specific hops varieties to get new kinds of beer that have never existed before.

In particular, they’re using daboratory techniques to heighten the dank, bitter taste of India pale ales that so many beer geeks love. They do this by extracting flower cones out of the raw hops.

Nick Azner of Block 15 says that while their beers have been popular, “some people are a little weird about it and say they want beers with whole cone hops and all that.” He told the Willamette Week Potlander that he decided to respond to that desire with new brewery techniques. “I said, ‘You know what? I’m going to launch a series that really celebrates that we’re using all these different hop products to make really good beer and push our techniques a bit.”‘

This was nine months ago. Since then, Block 15 has created several beers in it’s DAB Lab series (DAB stands for Dank-Ass Beers). They’ve worked with Oregon area hop cultivators on the concentrates. “The hop growers showed me the [extracts] during hop harvest, and I really liked it,” Azner told The Potlander. “They’re a little secretive about how they make some of it, but if you’ve seen CO2 resin for cannabis, it’s that.”

Azner says that while this sort of thing is exciting to beer and weed geeks, many others just like the taste. “They don’t care,” he says. “They’re just happy to have a great beer.”

Other brewers are experimenting with the same technology across the country, according to Potlander, so we may soon witness a renaissance of weed-influenced dank-ass beers.

Photo via Flickr user Quinn Dombrowski

Weed in the USA has reached a state of conflicting extremes. On one hand, cannabis is more legal than it’s ever been since since original prohibition at 28 states and counting (medically speaking, and extract technology is taking the world of getting high to new heights. On the other, less cool hand, national law enforcement takes its cues from an Attorney General who thinks that only bad people smoke marijuana.

So it’s no surprise in the middle of all this tempestuous and terpenes and THC that America is having one of its most notable 420’s on record. In one day, Wiz Khalifa gave us a way to grow weed with our phones, Alex Jones enlightened us on the conspiracy to brain damage the nation through ultra-fire bud, teenagers organized to try to stop stoners from getting stoned, and the Los Angeles city government made a surprise move to forgive transgressors of weed business law. And that doesn’t even cover the hundreds of organized gatherings and thousands upon thousands of dank seshes.

Here’s a brief rundown of some of the best goings on during the 4/20 of 2017…

Los Angeles Forgave Two Dozen Dispensaries

In the past, LA has used 4/20 as an occasion to raid dispensaries and shut them down. This year, cannabis providers feared they’d see something similar, but were surprised to find the exact opposite. More than two dozen marijuana collectives in LA County were set to be closed down by the sheriff’s Medical Marijuana Dispensary Enforcement Team, but this week the city’s Board of Supervisors chose not to fund the program, essentially giving these dispensaries a reprieve, temporarily at least.

“Up until today, we were thinking we might have busts this 4/20,” Kathleen Villarreal, a marijuana business consultant, told LA Weekly. “The vote definitely gave us a breath of fresh air. Every single day we wake up, we don’t know whether or not those doors are coming down.”

A Billionaire Conspiracy Is Brain Damaging American’s With Super-Strong Weed

That’s according to Info Wars’ Alex Jones, who’s engaged in a very high-profile custody battle this week which is either horrifying (if you’re his family) or hugely entertaining (if you’re anyone else). While testifying under oath about his cannabis habits, the uber-conservative media personality said he uses marijuana for the good of the nation, “to monitor its strength, which is how law enforcement does it.”

He added that increasing potency has “brain damaged a lot of people,” and that progressive billionaire philanthropist and cannabis advocate George Soros is largely to blame for this. It’s not quite as good the satanic plot to take over America, but we’ll take it.

High Schoolers Organized To Protest Smoking Weed

Yep. Some students of Gardena High School in Los Angeles spent their 4/20 on arguing against smoking weed. They even brought props of smashed up cars to warn about the dangers of driving stoned. Too bad all the stoners probably took the day off to hit their brand new bong they got for the occasion, so they might have missed their mark. Besides, we all know the ones who don’t smoke in high school are the ones who go extra dabaholic once they go to college.

Wiz Khalifa Dropped His New App Weed Farm

Man, that Wiz can really do everything. Besides recording and touring, he’s got his own weed strain named after him, and now he’s dropped what he’s calling the FarmVille of weed apps. Weed Farm is a game modeled on the ins/outs/ups/downs of producing and selling your own weed crops.

The game, which Wiz says is “better than Pokémon,” is meant to “create an authentic experience, capturing the state of the marijuana industry by seizing opportunities in entrepreneurial fashion, reinvesting into business, and compounding returns. In subsequent releases, the player will be able to expand their operations across the US and eventually the entire world as weed is legalized within the game.” So, now people in the weed business can take a break from the stresses of buying and selling real weed by buying selling the fake stuff.

Happy 420 Everybody!